Our All
by Rhiabrey Skye
Summary: A One Night stand might be just what it takes to tear Sam and Freddie's life apart. But a life-threatning illness as a result of that night could be just right to bring them together once more. A SamXxXFreddie Multi-Chapter -Might be rated M in the future
1. Chapter 1

Pairing: **SamXxXFreddie**

Warnings: **Minor cussing & Sexual themes**

Disclaimer: don't own nothing. I only own the plot.

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Our All

**His life was officially falling apart. **

On a warm summer night, there he sat on the sand, writing nothing but one name in the ground below with his pointed finger. The name that would constantly fill his thoughts for over one week now. How this all came to be, he had tried to find out. But every time he would try to prove himself what was going on, the ocean would roll onto shore and wash away those three letters forever.

That is, until he wrote it again.

Do you know what it feels like to never show your fiancé how much you truly love her?

He looked up at where the horizon met with the ocean line. Every streak of light in the sky blended in so perfectly, as if painted by hand in its most detailed way. How it started off with a warm yellow on the bottom then turning into a dark blue, almost black, as it went higher into the heavens. The sun was setting and it captivated him in a mix of thoughts. All about one thing; her.

They've been together since high school - junior year, to be exact. They were more than sure by graduation that what they had with each other was true love and life just couldn't gotten any better. Freddie had sacrificed going to a small campus in the city with Sam instead of taking courses at NYU because he knew more than well that long distance relationships aren't so popular with turning out on good terms. So they never stayed away from each other. They were inseparable. There was the few bickering moments now and then, but nothing too deep to actually leave a scar. Maybe a scratch, but those were curable. Scars on the other hand, never went away. They stayed with you forever.

And he had a huge one. Not physically (partially) but emotionally and mentally.

It had been a few weeks after he proposed to Sam and it was freshmen year of college…

He shook his head quickly, trying to remove the memory from his mind. But as he looked out into the sea, and the cold shore came onto the sand and landed on the tips of his bare feet, certain memorable words echoed in his mind. Certain words he would prefer to forget- never remember.

"…_where were you?…don't lie to me…you're lying…get out of this damn room…how could you…after everything…"_

He ran his hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath. A week later she had called him up. They had talked, not yelling nor shouting, but actual talking. He had apologized for coming home so late that night, lied that he had just been caught up on some school work at the library. He even talked about how he had bought her one of the most beautiful rings in Seattle, which now laid on her ring finger. Surprisingly, she had accepted his apology and allowed him to move back in the next morning.

Freddie pulled on his hair as a cool breeze blew against his freezing toes, digging them into the sand below him.

"Hey." a familiar voice brought a chill to his spine. He pulled his hood over his head. He felt her sit down next to him. She brought her arm on top of her bent knees and laid against it and starred out into the water. They were both silent for a moment as the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks and the party behind them all colliding into one calming sound.

"They're about to build the fire." she tried speaking again. She looked over at him and saw him starring ahead, his dark brown hair blocking her view as he turned his head away from her. She clicked her tongue, giving up. He was acting weird all day and she was starting to get annoyed, "Hey," she put her hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes slowly at her touch. It didn't tingle like it used to. The fire burned out… "Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked softly, rubbing his shoulder with her thumb.

"What is there to talk about?" he asked simply, like there really was no reason as to why he was acting so strange and deserted.

She took her hand off his arm and returned her attention to the horizon, "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He wanted to shout yes, but it would have nothing to do with the sky. Right now, he was just confused with what he was feeling and wanted to handle things on his own. Small talk wouldn't work. It never did.

It's not like anything would change this time.

"Why don't you go back to the party? It's much better than sitting here with me." He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but she thought otherwise as her eyes showed a tiny split of hurt. That was soon replaced with confidence as she strengthened her voice.

"No, why don't you come with me? You've been isolated all day, and I'm starting to get worried. If something happened--"

"Nothing happened." he caught her off sharply as he turned to stare at her. Her dark black hair moved in a slow motion as the wind came around them. He realized how he might've sounded insensitive. He didn't mean to be angry with her, he just was. And he didn't know why, "Carly, really. Nothing's wrong, I just don't feel well." he smiled sweetly at her, "Kay?" he placed his hand on her knee and rubbed it playfully, "No worries."

Believing him, she smiled back and hugged him tightly. Freddie was slightly taken aback at this act of affection but hugged back, "That's good. I almost thought you were about to commit suicide right there. You just look so sad lately."

Freddie looked over her shoulder at the two people walking happily hand in hand across the shore line. He quickly looked away when he thought he caught Sam get a glimpse of him, "Yeah…"was all he said.

Carly pulled away from him and teasingly shuffled his hair, "You look bored. Come on, lets go." she quickly grabbed his arm. She had a huge smile on her face as she pulled Freddie across the beach to their friends and family gathering.

"Are we gonna roast marshmallows?" he asked excitedly, spotting the fire.

"Duh!" Carly started laughing and he couldn't help but join in.

The bright fire crackled in the darkness as several close friends sat around laughing joyfully and chit chatting about where they were going to sit.

"Alright!" Spencer's voice echoed around the 'circle' which basically looked like a massacre of teens trying to get through each other's way, "Come on, sit!" He motioned his hand downward.

Freddie was about to make his way around the fire to sit next to Carly, when he caught a flash of blonde moving towards the small beach house, just a couple feet away.

"Freddie, you coming?" he looked back to see Carly patting the beach chair next to the one she was currently occupying. Freddie thought for a minute if he should sit down and just have a great time with everyone or follow Sam into the house.

"Yea, I have to talk to Sam first, alright?"

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**The guilt was eating him alive.**

He saw her at the small buffet, sneaking a French Fry and pig-in-a-blanket in her mouth. He couldn't help but bite his bottom lips as he saw how tight that beautiful strapless summer dress fit her body. The baby blue and white strap just below her breast (which gave her extra cleavage and more 'bounce') looked like it was professionally made just for her use. Her natural blonde curls flowed down her back as she continued walking down the long table, making a stop at the chicken nuggets, her wet bare feet (which covered in sand) squeaked across the dry tiles. She looked amazing. And the one thing that stood out the most in her, which caused Freddie's smile to somewhat fade and be substituted by a discomforting frown was her diamond ring.

Taking a deep breath, he collected himself together and walked up to her. She fit perfectly in his arms as he wrapped them around her small torso, pressing her body against his and whispering in her ear, "Hey, demon."

She sucked in a soothing deep breathe and arched her neck into the crook of his neck and smiled, "Nub."

He took one of the golden strands of her hair between his fingers and began twirling it around, "Did I tell you that you look beautiful today?"

She gasped sarcastically, "Really? You only tell me every other day." he chuckled as she turned around to face him cupped his cheek, leaving him a quick peck on the lips, "Quit being so cheesy, will ya?" she tapped his cheek then turned back around to resume picking out delicious food. He looked at her in awe as she took a noodle from one of the dishes, tilted her head back, and dropped it into her mouth. When she brought her head back up, part of the noodle was still sticking out so she had to suck it in.

Freddie gave her a somewhat disgusted look and commented, "Do you need a napkin?" he eyed the sauce around the lips.

She swallowed then grabbed a small piece of her dress, brought her face closer to her hand, and quickly whipped it. Freddie gaped at this, "Of course _you_ would be the girl to do such a thing to such a beautiful dress."

"Well I'm not like other girls."

Freddie felt himself heat up again…he felt hot and sweaty...guilty…_fear._

"and don't be surprised if I get red wine on my wedding dress at the reception, either."

He shoved the feeling behind him and just decided to focus on her for a moment, "Wow, so you _are _going to wear a wedding dress to our wedding. I did _not _see that coming." he smirked at her as he followed behind her.

She turned and pointed a finger at him, "Well, that's only if you're lucky." Freddie raised an eyebrow, "Of course I'm going to wear a dress, Fredwierd. Well, at least you're smart enough to know I would choose not to, but you know Carly…Sam this is your special day, you have to look beautiful and stunning so Freddie can look at you like you're worth a million bucks..blah blah." Freddie laughed at her imitation of Freddie.

He moved up closer to her and asked, "She really said that?" Sam nodded, "Well…" he grabbed her hand and wrapped her hand in his, bringing her closer to him. He gasped…her blue eyes never failed to captivate him, "no matter what you wear…you'll always be worth a million bucks."

She chuckled, "You are really cheesy, you know that?" he moved in closer to her face, smiled, and nodded slowly. She smiled back and brought her hand behind his neck, and made little patterns there-making him squirm, "Well, then. If you're lucky…" her eyes drifted to his lips, "…on our honey moon…" she touched his lips with her fingers as she looked up into his eyes, "…be ready to be blown away, cause when I'm gonna be wearing what I'm going to be wearing," she left a soft lingering kiss on his lips and smiled, "I'll be priceless. Not even Bill Gates will match up the costs to what I'm worth."

Freddie bit his bottom lip and twirled another strand of her hair and smiled, "About our honeymoon…_Cancun _outta be fun, huh?"

She whispered against his lips, "_So fun_." her voice was seductive, and there was no doubt that the images running through both their minds at the moment was X-rated. She smirked at him then wrapped her arms around his waist. Freddie responded by doing the same to her and resting his chin on the top of her head.

She let out an exhausted sigh, "I know this will sound really…cliché and girly, but…" she rested her head against his chest, "I'm so glad we're going to be each others first."

Freddie's gaze fell as his hear beat began to drastically slow down.

"You know, once there was this guy, I forgot his name, and I was reading about him in a magazine in the waiting room when I went with Carly to the dentist, and he said that every time you sleep with a person, it's like giving your pedal away each time."

Freddie gulped and sucked in a deep breath, "…pedal?"

"Yea, you know," she lifted her head off his shoulder and looked up into his eyes, "if I were a flower."

Freddie reluctantly ran his right hand through her hair and stayed quiet, enjoying this moment while it lasted. Because after what he was about to tell her, this could be the last time where they were like this ever again before she killed him.

**That was, if he didn't kill himself first.**

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So this will be a multi-chapter and it'll involve some really deep topics. You'll understand why by the next chapter or so. And the next chapter will include the flash back of what happened that night.


	2. Everything

**Our All**

_Chapter 2 _- Everything

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_**(That night)**_

It was a cold evening in the middle of the month of March. It's not unusual for Seattle to be this cold in the early spring. But the serene feeling in the air, the air that suffocated him as he tried to take in a deep breath every few seconds; everything. It made it feel like it was all **wrong**. Like something that was happening inside him, something broken in the pit of his stomach, had snapped in half and it was now lost and deep into the ocean below him. And the regret running through him as he wished to escaped the bottomless sea made different emotions run through him- so many that he suddenly lost feeling. Feeling of touch, of love, of faith, his grace- regret for intentionally hurting his demon back at home.

He lost sense of it all. It had all escaped his mind the moment he went deep into the soul before him.

"_Okay, so that was strange." Carly commented as her and her two best friends and Carly's date (some blonde with green eyes named Zack) exited the school they were finally going to graduate from in exactly one month. Four weeks._

_The loud music and loud-talking of senior students shook the floor behind them as they raised their voices over the noise, "So, when do we leave?"_

_Freddie rolled his eyes, "Why are you in such a rush to go home? This is prom night. Normally, people go to after parties and get hammered."_

_Sam nodded quickly and raised her eyebrows giving him a 'duh' look. She motioned towards him and continued talking, "Exactly. __**Normal **__people go to parties and get drunk. __**Not **__dorks like you."_

_Freddie rolled his eyes once more and crossed his arms over his chest, "Fine, go home all alone and call it a night," a victorious smirk came over his facial features as an idea hit him like a ton of bricks, "I'll just go all by myself, and maybe," long over-dramatic sigh, "I don't know…meet some girl…talk with her," his eyes met her and he wanted to burst out in laughter when he saw her face turn red with sudden rage and her eyes filled with, of course, jealousy. He __**loved **__making her __**jealous**__, "maybe get her number."_

_She puckered her lips, raised an eyebrow, and crossed her arms just like his then looked him up and down quickly, "__**Freddie**__," she had a warning tone. She looked like she was going to blow any minute. _

_Carly stood there looking amused. Amused because she knew how this was going to turn out. Just like all the other fights they've had ever since they got together- he makes her jealous, (which surprisingly, was Sam's greatest weakness) and she know exactly what Freddie is trying to do as the signature smile overcomes his perfect lips. Then they bicker (nothing new) then they make up - make out session._

"_Yes, Samantha?" he batted his eyebrows as her and grinned. Her nose flared in anger at the mention of her full name. _

"_I know I'm not girly like miss princess over here," Carly rolled her eyes as she took Zack's hand in hers and squeezed, "but you know the rules." in fact, he did know the rules. He actually memorized all two hundred when she handed him the book on their second date. He practically memorized each and every one. Result being physically hurt (or death) if breaking one of them, "Accepting digits from girls I've never met, and or find you attractive, means no more mamma in your life. And I aint talkin' ' bout that crazy nut case." She gritted through her teeth. _

_Oh, yes. Rule number twenty five. Page three. _

_But he decided to continued playing alone, "Really?" his eyes went wide open as he brought his right hand to his chest, "You said such thing? Well, then if you must know, Julie--AHH!" _

_He thought for a moment that maybe he had died, feeling nothing under him, seeing black. Feeling Pain. But you don't feel pain when you're dead, so he finally came with the conclusion that he had been tackled to the ground by his girlfriend and was currently getting a mouthful of concrete. He felt something grab his hair and push his face farther into the ground as he turned his head sideways._

_Carly gave herself a face palm. Freddie, you have to learn when to stop when you take things too far…_

_He felt Sam wrap her legs around his back and she shouted, "Julie? Who in the hell is this Julie? You tell me right now Benson, or I __**swear**__--" _

"_--Sam! You're getting my tux all dirty." he starred down at his tie and un-tucked it from under him, patting it clean._

_She scoffed, "Like I care!" _

"_Well, my mom does!" She rolled her eyes, "This was a very expensive suite. If you must know, doctors don't necessarily get paid as well as you might think. Mainly because of the current state of the nation's econ-GAH." He groaned as she pushed his face farther into the ground. _

"_Sam, stop! Get off of him!" Carly shouted as she ran to Sam and grabbed on her arm, pulling the blonde off of him. Freddie stayed lying on the ground, his body aching too much to actually be willing to move a muscle. _

_Sam stayed still, breathing in heavily as she starred down at the eighteen year-old. Supposedly, her boy friend. Not many people would believe after the little show they just put on. When Freddie looked up to meet her graze she stared daggers into him. He shuddered._

"_Look, here comes our limo. Happy, Sam? Now we can finally go home." Carly's voice sounded aggravated. Most likely cause she was on Freddie's side to go hang out with the other students and party all night, Spencer giving her full permission as long as there was no alcohol involved and she made it back home by twelve._

_Sam shot Freddie a look as he got up from the floor and whipped his tux with his hands. Sam maintained a distance between her and Freddie as the four waited for the limo to make a complete stop in front of them. Freddie looked over and saw her looking down at the floor, tapping her foot quickly against the ground. He sighed._

_When the car stepped on its brakes, Freddie was about to walk forward and open the car for her when she shoved past him and opened the car for herself, sitting all the way in the back, on the right corner. Like a limo usually was, long, Sam and Freddie could sit in one corner while Carly and Zack stayed in the other opposite corner, and they could have their own little private time with each other. _

_Freddie sighed again, this time in annoyance of her aggressiveness. He walked into the limo and Saw her sitting there, crossed arms, and looking out the window. Her expression was cold. She looked pissed._

_He felt her scoot over, as if disgusted by him, as he sat down next to her. He was really starting to get annoyed by her attitude and decided to question her why this fight was so different then the others. He saw the bottom of her sea-blue dress rise up her leg, revealing her leg skin there. Freddie reached over to place his palm on her knee. He softly caressed it with his thumb. She was __**so **__soft._

_He was knocked from his thoughts about how beautiful she had looked tonight when she pushed his hand off her leg, letting it fall next to him on the seat. He looked up at her and saw that she had quickly turned her attention back to stare out the window. _

_A few minutes had passed in complete silence when Freddie looked across the car and saw Carly and Zack kissing…if only love were that simple._

_It had been a week since her and Freddie kissed (he'd been so busy with finals and college choosing) and he wanted to kiss her so freaking bad…_

_And as if she were reading his mind…_

"_If you want to kiss me so badly, you could just ask." _

_He felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders._

"_Okay, uhm…" he raised his hand to her cheek and whispered, "Can you kiss me?" _

_She let out a long groan, grabbed his hand and placed it down between them. Freddie gaped at this._

"_No." _

_He looked at her in disbelief and scoffed. She watched from the corner of her eye as he rested his back against the leather seat, his face looked…hurt, "I don't know what you're problem right now is, Sam, but whatever it is, get over it."_

_Sam was taken aback by his harsh tone for a few moments as she turned her head to see him looking out his own window. She couldn't believe how he was talking to her. Sure, this is who they were - feisty and fierce with each other. But never would she have guessed that he would intentionally hurt her. That was only for when getting revenge and playing another round of their bickering game._

_She turned her head quickly, looking back out the window. She slowly raised her hand to her bun and started removing some of the bobby-pins which had kept her hair in the such beauty manor it had been at the prom. When she un-twirled the main strand of hair, it had fallen back on her shoulder, creating a beautiful wave in the front. Her bangs had grown out over the years._

"_You know, sometimes I just don't get you, Sam." his voice was soft. She chose to ignore this comment as she held the pins in her hand and tucked them into her bra. She blushed at the thought of Freddie catching her, "What did I do that could've possibly gotten you so mad at me? I mean, I brought you to the dance, I sacrificed so much for you just so I could come here tonight," his mom wasn't really fond of the thought of him being Sam's date. Even if she knew they were together. Freddie had agreed to return to the routine of having weekly body inspections just so he could be with her here tonight, "I tell you I love," it had been on dance floor just over an hour ago when they were dancing to a slow song. Her arms around his neck, his forehead against hers, "I'm thinking maybe we were actually getting somewhere deep…" he exhaled, "That everything was going just great, but then here you are, messing it all up again."_

_The word _again_ got her attention and her head shot up, "Excuse me?"_

_He turned to look at her and the breath was knocked out from his lungs when he saw her natural blonde hair raining down on her shoulders, her shimmering gold eye shadow making her blue eyes pop with her dress. _

_She looked like an angel._

_Ironic. _

"_Uhm," it was like he forgot what they were talking about._

"_What do you mean again? You're the one who supposedly got asked out by Julie Wessels, who you know I dearly hate, and here you are saying that __**I'm **__the one who's messing us up?" _

_Freddie raised an eyebrow and smiled. Sam looked at him in incredulity, "Why are you smiling? This isn't funny! You seriously want to die tonight don't you--" _

_Freddie hushed her and moved closer to her, grabbing her hands in his, and fixing his sitting position so he was in front of her (diagonal)._

"_Sam, shh, calm down." _

_Sam looked at her hands in his and gawked, "What are you--"_

"_Sam," he stopped her again and caressed her hand with his thumb, "you didn't actually think that was true, did you?" He wanted to smirk when he saw a flash of embarrassment (and guilt) in her eyes. His smirk turned into a smile as he brought one of his hands to her face, "Come on, Sam. It's not like that was the first time I played the jealous card on you."_

_She scoffed, "Jealousy card? You said tall hat just to make me jealous."_

"_Duh."_

_And for some reason, instead of screaming and shouting or smacking him across his face she had said, "Thank god." and it was said gently as a soft smile played on her lips. _

_He brought his face closer to hers and looked into her eyes. They were smiling (if possible), "Listen. Never, okay…__**never **__would I leave you for some Gucci-lovin, Prada-wearing daffodil, alright?" he looked at her lips and whispered as he saw her close her eyes. His lips brushed against hers, "You might not be perfect to those girls, but to me, you're the only thing I'll ever see with my eyes that truly is perfection made by god's hands."_

_A punch to his shoulder and an incredulous laugh from her lips. Nothing new._

"_You shouldn't even attempt to sound romantic. Makes you look like a gay French poodle."_

_Whatever that meant, he had no idea. _

"_A whaa--?"_

_She quickly grabbed his hair and forced his face in front of hers and gritted through her teeth, "Shut up, will ya?" _

_And with that they kissed._

_Best. Prom. Night. Ever._

_Even if there was no after party, they didn't need alcohol to get themselves drunk and happy. They had each other._

His hand on her chest as he felt her rapid heart beating and the sound of her calm breathing as she dreamt of everything he didn't come to know. Mainly because he didn't know her.

She just wanted the money out of him, and he was surprisingly willing to give it to her the moment she pressed her lips onto his.

He pulled up the blanket to cover her nude body as he felt her shiver as a chill came in through the blinds.

The feeling of regret and fault, anything but innocence, had begged its way into his soul.

And he couldn't help but let out a soft sob escape between his lips as a picture of Sam entered his mind.

Sam. It was all about her. His life revolved around her, his decisions, his commitment towards her. She was his **everything**.

And now he knew for sure he was going to loose just that -

**Everything**


End file.
